At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
