There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize