it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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