covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just google imaged poop.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
