My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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