I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize