Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish my penis had an off switch
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
