Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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