Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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