his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
