halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
