The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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