Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
