ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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