Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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