I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
