She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
