brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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