Sponge bath it is.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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