I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
