Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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