thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
