That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
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i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
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There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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