I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
