If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
