We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So here I am, sexting at work.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
