Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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