is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
