hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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