If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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