As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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