And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
BRING THE BAGELS
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
