just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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