There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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