i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
