Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
