I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
