i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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