I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
