we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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