my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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