He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
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I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
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It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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