I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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