There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Mom said you looked used
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
