How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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