I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
