I wannas sexs uuuuu
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
