The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
