drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
