I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize