every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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