i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
