dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
