Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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