I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
