If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
