she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
