Just fell off a train. Bad.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
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