will power is for people who don't want to get laid
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
