Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
