Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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