i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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