I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
don't judge my taste in strippers
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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