why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
This baby is an asshole
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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