Sry I called you an 8
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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