so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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