If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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