as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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